I’ve lived my life according to the rules. I have enjoyed the progression of fiberglass to graphite to boron and back to fiberglass and never have I been so weak as to sample the chemical temptations of this generation.
Yet now, diminished by age and ravaged by an arid climate that turns lake beds into parking lots, I wonder if there is any relief?
Just this week, I wanted it. I needed it. A remedy, or else someone pulling out of the water right then that I might catch a ride. But there was none. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and made a promise that I would not stop until I reached the summit. I leaned into the incline and with a bold step I set off.
Yet, even before the mid point, I buckled. Clearly, a bottle of 5-Hour Energy was not enough. The last 50 yards to the crest, gasping loudly, open mouthed, only pride got me to the top. Yet, you know how it feels and there was no reward for the victory.
Yes, you and I, we have gazed upon the great ones (and I don’t mean the Pyramids). It’s those launch ramps stretching from the canyon rims to the depths of the flooded valleys below. They are concrete and asphalt stretching as far as the eye can see at Lake Shasta, Lake Castaic and beyond. Indeed, Lake Mead’s at Callville Bay may be the longest, but at least it offers tram service.
Yet none of them have the precipitous incline of the Diamond Valley ramp. Oh yeah, we had to have that 220-foot extension, but what a one-way perspective. We can drive to the water’s edge alright, but all that extra concrete did was add 75 yards to the lung-bursting ascent.
No, I never took steroids. But now I get it. You wouldn’t happen to have Mark McGwire’s cell number, would you?
6 Responses to “Yes, it’s true, I never took steroids”
So, you mean to say you did not get that 8 pounder?
Just take it slow up the ramp; at least it’s open right?
C’MON GEORGE. I’LL BE 78 IN A FEW MONTHS AND I DON’T NEED STEROIDS. JUST STOP HALFWAY UP FOR A BREATHER AND OFF YOU GO. ALL KIDDING ASIDE, MWD COULD NOT HAVE DONE A WORSE JOB OF LAUNCH RAMP PLANNING. ENJOY YOUR WEB SITE AND THE COMMENTS BY OTHER FISHERMEN. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
PS. MY RIGHT AGE AND DON’T HAVE MUCH TROUBLE WITH THE HIKE, BUT I ALSO PLAY SOFTBALL TWICE A WEEK.
C’mon, Hank. You’re killing me. Guys your age aren’t supposed to be on the Internet, either. 
Whatever you’re doing, though, don’t stop!
What a Trek up that launch ramp! If the fishing wasn’t so good I’d go elsewhere.
Hank you the man! =)
Guess it would take a year long study and another doubling of the launch fees to allow parking along the edges of the ramp’s upper portions?
George That is a good article. It is pretty funny.